Taking Control Read online

  Finally, his mouth closed over her and he suckled her clit into his mouth, and she shattered into a million pieces. Her eyes clamped closed as the pleasure washed over her in waves, her hips pushing against him. As the pleasure ebbed, he bit down and she came again. He straightened, but she was hardly aware as he put on a condom and positioned himself between her thighs.

  She opened her eyes as he pushed inside, her inner muscles spasming around him as he filled her in one hard push of his hips. He ground against her sensitive clit, and she gasped his name.

  There had never been anything like this. No one had ever come close to making her feel this way. Only Declan. That’s why she had given up searching in the end.

  At the thought, she had a flash of fear.

  But it was only sex.

  Mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex. He was pumping into her now, long, hard strokes, and she closed her eyes and let the feelings expand, spiral out of control until she lost all awareness except for the huge shaft between her legs, the hot mouth at her breast.

  He sped up and she knew he was close, could feel the tenseness of his muscles, the sheer force of his concentration. He slipped a hand between them, massaged her clit, and she tipped over the edge once more as he spilled inside her.

  For long minutes neither of them moved. Jess became aware of the hard metal at her back, the edge of the counter digging into her thighs. The air smelled of sex and sweat and Declan, and she breathed in deeply. Someone rattled at the door, but went away when they got no response.

  Finally, she managed to move a hand and make a feeble attempt to push him off. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and she unlocked them. He put a palm flat on the counter beside her and pushed himself up.

  “Fuck,” he said and ran his other hand through his hair. At least he’d lost his perfect businessman look. She pushed herself up on her elbows for a better view as he pulled out of her and stepped back.

  A shiver ran through her, a feeling of emptiness that only Declan could fill. It was a feeling she remembered so well from the days after he left her. Another shiver ran through her. Fear, this time. She would not go through that again. But already she wanted to be back in his arms, and that terrified her.

  His eyes held a sleepy satiated expression and a slow smile curved his lips. “That was…”

  “Just sex,” she said and jumped off the counter. After searching the floor for her clothes, she picked up her panties and clutched them in her hand.

  His smile faded, and his brows drew together. He straightened his clothes, fastening his jacket over his ripped shirt and was once again the perfect businessman. “You know, it doesn’t have to be ‘just sex.’”

  She glanced at him, a frown forming between her brows. “Oh yes, it does.”

  “Why? We’re good together. There’s no reason we shouldn’t keep on being good together.”

  Was he crazy? “Are you crazy?”

  “It makes perfect sense to me.”

  “Hah. Been there. Done that. Never happening again.”

  “It wouldn’t be the same. We’re different people than we were ten years ago.”

  “Really, because you seem pretty much the same to me, Mr. Perfect.” She yanked her panties up her legs, grabbed her pants and shirt, pulled them on. “And how long will it take before you realize…again…that I don’t fit into your perfect world.”

  “Is that really how you see me?”

  “Oh yeah. And I think I get it. That’s how you were brought up to be. Your parents blackmailed you into thinking you always had to do the right thing. Suddenly I’m acceptable, and you think you want me. ” She bent down and pulled her shoes on, then grabbed the pistol and took it back to the gun safe, locking it, before turning back to Declan. “But by now, you’re so used to doing what’s right, that you have no clue what you really want.”

  “I want you.” He took a step toward her and she backed away.

  “You just think you want me. Well, perhaps it’s time you realized you don’t always get what you want, Declan.” Grabbing her jacket she stalked to the door, unlocked it, and turned back. “See yourself out.”

  She needed some time alone. He’d knocked her off balance with his crazy suggestions. Unfortunately, when she entered her office five minutes later, Jake was seated at her desk. She so didn’t need this right now. Stifling a groan, she plastered a smile on her face.

  “Anything I can help you with, boss?”

  “I just got a report there was a problem with the shooting range. Someone had apparently barricaded themselves in.”

  “Hardly barricaded.” She shrugged and plonked herself in the chair opposite. “Declan wanted to shoot a gun. As part of my new be-nice-to-clients image I thought, why not?”

  “And…?”

  “And…” She thought quickly. “And he’d never held a gun before so I thought he might be a little trigger happy. So in the interests of safety I locked the door.”

  He regarded her for a few seconds. “Nice try, but I’m not buying it.”

  What a surprise. “You’re not? Any particular bit of it?”

  “All of it.”

  There wasn’t a lot she could say to that, so she stretched out her legs and examined her fingernails.

  “What’s going on between you and McCabe? And don’t tell me nothing. You couldn’t take your eyes off him in that meeting, and then afterward you lock yourself in the shooting range with him. And now, you look decidedly flushed and your shirt is inside out.”

  She glanced down. So it was. No getting anything past Jake. “We’re having a thing.”

  “A thing?”

  “You know a…thing. But you don’t have to worry. It’s not interfering with the job. I have everything organized.”

  “Maybe I’m not worried about the job. Maybe I’m worried about you.”

  “Sweet.” Actually it was. “But as I said, I have everything under control.”

  “Why do I doubt that? Probably because you’ve never shown any interest in a client before. Hell, in anyone before. Have you any idea what you’re doing?”

  “Of course I do.” Actually, she had no clue. But she was working it out slowly. Declan was obviously going through some sort of weird midlife crisis—being shot and almost blown up would do that to you—and had decided that she was the answer. He was totally deluded. “Actually, I’m doing what you told me to do and putting the past behind me.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Declan McCabe is your past?”

  “My very, very distant past.”

  No way was she going to act as some sort of antidote just because Declan’s perfect life suddenly didn’t seem so perfect. Because he’d finally get over his little crisis and then he’d no doubt dump her like he had last time. Well, she wasn’t going to give him the opportunity. From now on, she was keeping her distance.

  She’d thought that she could have him, at least up until the trial, and then their lives would naturally go different ways. But if he was going to try and delude himself there could be more to this that just sex, then she had no choice.

  He was an addiction and the only way to deal with addiction was a clean cut.

  So no more sex with Declan.

  …

  Jess was wrong. He always got what he wanted.

  But she wasn’t wrong about everything. In fact she was spot-on with certain things. It was scary how clearly she saw him. It was true he’d never had to think about what he wanted before, because he’d always known exactly what he had to do. Except for that one glitch with Jess, he’d done everything his family had asked of him.

  And look what that had gotten him.

  He was bored. He admitted it—to himself at least. These days the job was all too easy. There was no challenge. And sometimes he felt as though he would explode if he had to sit through one more meeting.

  But with Jess in his life, it didn’t seem so bad. Except she was hardly in his life. He hadn’t seen her over the weekend, and she hadn’t answered his c
alls. She’d popped in briefly this morning to go over his schedule and then promptly vanished again. She was driving him to distraction.

  She made him feel alive as he hadn’t felt in years. Since he was eighteen in fact. And he wasn’t ready to let that go yet. Was pretty sure he would never be ready. But she was fighting the obvious attraction.

  He’d hurt her ten years ago when he’d walked away, but he hadn’t realized how much. He’d believed her so young that she would get over it quickly. But she hadn’t. A core of bitterness was wrapped around her heart, and she was running scared. He’d seen flashes of fear in her eyes when he’d suggested there might be more between them than sex.

  She didn’t trust him, and she didn’t want more. Or at least that’s what she was no doubt telling herself.

  And could he blame her?

  Maybe not, but he wasn’t letting her go. She’d said it was good to face your fears. So it was time she faced this one.

  He picked up his phone and pressed her number.

  “What is it?” She sounded annoyed.

  “I thought I might come over and we—”

  “Sorry, no can do. I’m getting ready to go out.”

  He went still and his hand tightened on the phone. “Out where?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I have a date. A date with a ‘nice’ man.”

  Keep cool. He was pretty sure this was just her running scared. But scared or not, no way was she running into the arms of another man. “Anyone, I know?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Give me a name.”

  She was silent for a few seconds, then he could almost hear her mental shrug. “Harry Cantrell. He’s a lawyer.”

  “Sounds boring. Stand him up, and I’ll come over instead. You can introduce me to your vibrator. I’ve been having these amazing fantasies ever since we had phone sex.” That was no lie; just the thought made his cock stand to attention.

  “Never going to happen. But maybe Harry would like to meet my vibrator.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Don’t even think about taking him back to your place.”

  “Or else what?” She didn’t wait for an answer just disconnected.

  He stared at his phone, while he thought about calling her back. But he had a suspicion she wouldn’t pick up and that would piss him off even more. He needed a plan.

  Actually though, he did know Harry Cantrell. He’d met him at one of his father’s parties and Harry was not “nice.” A criminal lawyer, he had a number of his dad’s old mates among his clients. Declan actually liked the man and maybe it was his duty to warn him about Jess. And Jess about Harry. Warn them of what he wasn’t sure, but he’d come up with something. Because if Jess thought she was playing around with someone else right under his nose, she was mistaken.

  It didn’t take much digging around to find out where Harry would be that evening. He just hoped—but somehow couldn’t quite convince himself—that Jess would be pleased to see him.

  …

  As she stepped into the ladies’ room, Jess pulled out her cell phone and hit speed dial. Kim picked up straightaway.

  “What the hell did you put on that form?” Jess whispered as though she might be overheard.

  Kim giggled. “I just described Jake. Why, what’s he like?”

  “Maybe not Jake, but he’s gorgeous, and he’s hot, and I haven’t fallen asleep yet.”

  “That’s good. You better let me know how it goes. And if you go to his place, remember—safe sex.”

  “Ha. And this from the woman who got pregnant the first time Jake touched her.”

  “Well, I’m obviously in the perfect position to give advice. And if you do go to his place, let me know so—”

  “I’m not going to his place. Look I have to go. Talk to you later.”

  She slipped the phone back in her pocket and returned to the bar. She’d told the truth; Harry was hot, and he was interesting. But disappointingly, she felt absolutely no urge to leap on him and rip his clothes off as she always did when Declan was close. She wanted to want Harry, really she did. But there was no tingly skin, no insistent pulse between her thighs, and her heartbeat remained irritatingly slow and steady. Maybe she just needed to persevere.

  She sat down opposite, took a sip of her martini, and smiled brightly. Harry was blond, his hair immaculately cut and his dark eyes held a wicked gleam as they wandered over her. She tried to imagine him in a compromising position, down an alley or in the back of a limo, but the image refused to gel in her brain.

  “So tell me, Harry, why does a man like you use a dating site?”

  He grinned. “A man like me?”

  She studied him for a moment. He really was quite gorgeous. “You’re good-looking, have a great job”—she waved a hand around their surroundings—“excellent taste.”

  “My job takes up most of my time. This is a good way to meet women who want the same things. And what about you? You’re beautiful. I’m betting you have no problem getting dates.”

  She twirled her olive. “Actually, I tend to intimidate most men.”

  He smiled. “I’m not most men. So tell me what you like to do in your spare time, Jess.”

  She opened her mouth to answer something romantic and totally untrue, like walking hand in hand in the rain, when ice trickled down her spine and she snapped her lips together. She’d felt the exact same thing when she’d been in the sights of a sniper’s rifle in Afghanistan. She stiffened, ready to dive for cover. Then Harry looked at someone over her shoulder. He frowned, then relaxed and smiled in welcome.

  “May I join you?”

  No.

  The word hovered on her tongue.

  “Of course,” Harry said.

  Traitor.

  Shifting in her chair, she twisted around so she could see the man standing at her shoulder. He was wearing his usual suit, but his tie was loosened and faint stubble shadowed his jawline. Not so perfect. She liked it, and hated that she liked it. Declan’s expression was bland but his eyes held humor, probably at her disgruntled expression. Behind him, Steve shifted from foot to foot, and she gave him a narrowed-eyed glare.

  Declan turned and spoke quietly to him. A look of relief flashed across his face and he backed away. Taking a seat beside her and opposite Harry, Declan gave them both a charming smile. “What a coincidence. Do you come here often?”

  “No,” she snapped.

  Harry glanced between the two of them, a small frown forming between his brows. “Do you two know each other?” She could add “not blind” and “not stupid” to Harry’s list of accomplishments.

  “Actually, Jess is one of my bodyguards.” Declan smiled. “Dedicated to preserving my safety at all times.”

  “I’m off duty,” she growled.

  “Of course,” Harry said. “I heard that you’d been shot. Have they not caught them yet?”

  “Not yet. But I’m confident Jess will keep me safe.” He shifted his chair a little closer, and Jess gritted her teeth.

  A waitress placed a glass of scotch in front of him, and Jess took the opportunity to order another martini. She had a feeling she’d need it. Sitting back in her seat, she sipped her drink while Harry and Declan chatted about the shooting, the business, his father’s birthday party, which apparently Harry had been invited to.

  She jumped when Declan’s free hand came to rest on her thigh and shot him her dirtiest glance, but left it there, hidden under the table. The hand slid up until it hovered at the top of her thigh and need flashed through her.

  A cell phone went off. She jumped as Harry reached into his pocket, pulled out a phone, and read the screen. “I have to take this.”

  “What a pity,” Declan murmured. “I’ll look after Jess for you.”

  Harry cast him an amused glance. “I’m sure you will. I’ll be right back,” he added to her, and she watched as he strolled out of the bar, phone held to his ear.

  Declan squeezed her leg.

  “Did you arran
ge that?” she asked.

  “The phone call? No, that was purely good luck.”

  “But you admit this is no coincidence. And how come you didn’t mention you know Harry?”

  “I thought I’d surprise you.” He shrugged and looked around them. “At least Harry’s got some class.”

  “What are you doing here, Declan?”

  “Just passing.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  He removed his hand, and turned in his chair so he was facing her. Beneath the amusement, anger flickered in his eyes. “Absolutely nothing is going to happen between you and Harry. So don’t pretend otherwise.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because you’re mine. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.” He gave her a long slow look and all of a sudden her skin was tingly and that pulse was beating frantically between her thighs.

  She hated that. Why was he the one man who could do this to her? Why couldn’t Harry have made her all tingly? Was Declan hardwired into her system? But no way was she his. And no way did she want to be. But how to convince Declan of that.

  She shifted her chair so she could watch him as she spoke. “I’ve been thinking this through,” she said. “You want to keep me around because you’re bored with your perfect life and I make you feel alive. But I won’t be used like that.”

  His brows drew together. “It wouldn’t be using you.”

  “No? If there’s something wrong with your life, Declan, you need to work out what and make some changes. Not just keep doing the same shit and having sex with me to brighten up the dull moments.” She pushed her chair back and stood up. “I’m leaving. I’ll say my good-byes to Harry on the way out.”

  For a second, she thought he would try and stop her, but then he sat back. “Okay, I’ll let you go…this time. But Jess, be in no doubt. While you might not be ready to accept you’re mine, you’re certainly not going to be any other man’s. Forget the dates.”

  She wanted to say or else? But decided, maybe this time, discretion was a better idea. She turned around and walked away, his eyes burning into her back the whole way out.